I’m not much for cliché’s but I’m going to go ahead and use one.
I am at a cross roads.
I’ve never really been a fan of that saying. Mostly because I think it gets way over used. I’m under the impression that there are very few decisions in our lives that we will make that will drastically alter the course of our lives. I believe that God is sovereign, and in his sovereignty his will is done and we can choose to be apart of that will or we can choose to be opposed to that will.
That is the frame-work by which I have tried to make most of the decisions of my life. I married a beautiful Godly women, not because I thought she was the one woman who God had picked out for me, but because I am in love with her and she fit within the criteria of God’s will. She loves God, I love God and thus it was his will for us to be married. God would have been just as pleased and happy if I had chosen to marry someone else as long as she fit the criteria, but I would not have been, and he knew that.
I give that example because I want you all to realize that I do not take the phrase “at a crossroads in life” lightly. So much so that I don’t even consider my wedding day a cross roads, or the birth of my son a cross roads, I see them as events in my life that have helped make me a better man, but ultimately have not deviated me from God’s purpose for my life. They have in fact helped make that purpose all the more clear.
I am at a cross roads.
I have run from this road for many years now. Always back tracking, looking for a way around it, hoping for an alternate route, but every time God has brought me back to this road, set me squarely in front of it and has whispered, “It’s time to choose. Face this so that you can minister to others in a healthy way or ignore it until it destroys you, your family, and your career. I’ll love you either way.”
For awhile this blog is going to be dedicated to my journey down the road. I’ll just warn you now, some of its gross and sad and will probably leave you shaking your head. I’m not documenting this journey for attention or sympathy or for advice. I will take your prayers though.
I’m documenting this journey so that I don’t have the option of running anymore. I won’t be able to back track, run in circles or deny my need to get this done. I’m documenting it so that at the end I can look back and see how far God has carried me and give him all the praise and glory. It will be a reminder of his strength made perfect in my weakness.
Some posts will come quickly one right after another while others will take months to get out. So please be patient, bathe me in prayer, and give God the glory.